Day 14 (02/08/15): We are not quite half way done, but we've made it two weeks already!!!
Last night was a first and it was cool to me so I want to share it as a source of encouragement. If you struggle with control like I do (in any area even if it isn't in as many areas), and you are looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there. Now, I suspect that this struggle will never go away. It will probably be a constant tension for me and for you, but that's what life as a Christian is. A tension between who we would be if left to our own devices and who we can be in Christ.
Anyway, Layla woke up just before 5 AM this morning. She didn't start by talking and fussing like normal...nope, it was instant screaming. Now, Pam is claiming they were happy screams...screams where she is just using her voice. Me? I'm not buying it. But then again, it was 5 AM, so I could be crazy. Anyway, the end game on this one was me going downstairs at 6:20 because I could hear her screaming and Pam had taken her down. We finally got her calmed down, which was great. The part in the middle, the cool control part, was that two of the times I woke up, the first thing I thought of was to rejoice in the Lord that I had a daughter to scream and then beg (supplication) God to help us figure out how to help her stop screaming!
Second thing that I'm working on is contentment in my career. I had talked about teaching at the college level earlier in 2014. I know that I would love it, but since my true love is history, I had to put that one on the back burner. (I consulted several Godly people, including a history professor and the advice was very sound and made sense even if it was disappointing.) In all of that, my love of teaching and making history enjoyable/interesting has not lessened. So, I have considered H.S. which I truly believe I could and would enjoy more than I ever thought I would. However, we are in NO position for me to go back to school. We aren't really in a position for me to take a cut in pay either...much less talking about school loans. So, what does a control freak do with that?
I'm taking the tact of patiently waiting on the Lord and "in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let(ting my) requests be made known to God." So, I let God know what my desire is and I wait. I research what options there are for teaching endorsements and I wait. I look for grants and scholarship that are available to those going into the education field...and I wait.
That's the hard part. Not just going and trying to make it happen. Recognizing that God has made it clear that this is NOT the time and yet recognizing that God has been growing my desire and joy in the teaching experiences I have been able to gain in the last few years.
....whatever you say and whatever you do, do it with the glory of God in mind and as your intention!
Last night was a first and it was cool to me so I want to share it as a source of encouragement. If you struggle with control like I do (in any area even if it isn't in as many areas), and you are looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, it IS there. Now, I suspect that this struggle will never go away. It will probably be a constant tension for me and for you, but that's what life as a Christian is. A tension between who we would be if left to our own devices and who we can be in Christ.
Anyway, Layla woke up just before 5 AM this morning. She didn't start by talking and fussing like normal...nope, it was instant screaming. Now, Pam is claiming they were happy screams...screams where she is just using her voice. Me? I'm not buying it. But then again, it was 5 AM, so I could be crazy. Anyway, the end game on this one was me going downstairs at 6:20 because I could hear her screaming and Pam had taken her down. We finally got her calmed down, which was great. The part in the middle, the cool control part, was that two of the times I woke up, the first thing I thought of was to rejoice in the Lord that I had a daughter to scream and then beg (supplication) God to help us figure out how to help her stop screaming!
Second thing that I'm working on is contentment in my career. I had talked about teaching at the college level earlier in 2014. I know that I would love it, but since my true love is history, I had to put that one on the back burner. (I consulted several Godly people, including a history professor and the advice was very sound and made sense even if it was disappointing.) In all of that, my love of teaching and making history enjoyable/interesting has not lessened. So, I have considered H.S. which I truly believe I could and would enjoy more than I ever thought I would. However, we are in NO position for me to go back to school. We aren't really in a position for me to take a cut in pay either...much less talking about school loans. So, what does a control freak do with that?
I'm taking the tact of patiently waiting on the Lord and "in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let(ting my) requests be made known to God." So, I let God know what my desire is and I wait. I research what options there are for teaching endorsements and I wait. I look for grants and scholarship that are available to those going into the education field...and I wait.
That's the hard part. Not just going and trying to make it happen. Recognizing that God has made it clear that this is NOT the time and yet recognizing that God has been growing my desire and joy in the teaching experiences I have been able to gain in the last few years.
....whatever you say and whatever you do, do it with the glory of God in mind and as your intention!
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