Project Control - Day 6 - practically apply all the "talk"

Day 6 (01/31/15): Wow. Six days already. it's amazing, actually, that it has been less than a week since I started this project. It's been cool to see how my focusing on God and allowing him to have control has morphed into being more aware of his presence and his blessings in my life. I know that may seem like common sense and yet it hasn't always been a clear connection.

So, today is a Saturday. I have several things that I have to do every Saturday. So, instead of looking for something new, I'm trying simply to apply this last week and the verses I've looked at. Finding ways to rejoice in the Lord and say and do things to God's glory. Trying to find areas where I feel a need to be in control and relinquish that to God.

Boy, I wish I could say that this was easy, but true growth is never painless anyway. It's hard to go through a moment, realize my frustration with not being in complete control and then have to correct it...but at least I'm seeing it.

By the way, if you want proof that control is an illusion....have a 7 year old sometime! :o)

Project Control - Day 5 - mind-control - controlling our thoughts

Day 5 (01/30/15) AM: SO, the trend I'm seeing is that I need to be consciously, mentally focused on God. That will affect what I'm thinking and what I'm doing on the long haul. Yet, I find it very hard to do because I'm not used to being mentally self-controlled. Sad, but true!

Obviously the verses we've looked at so far have talked about this. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all to the glory of God. That requires being intentional about what you are thinking and saying which involves thinking about what you are saying and being conscientious about what you are thinking. Being anxious for nothing and taking our prayers and our beggings (supplications) to God requires being consciously aware of God's close presence with us. Rejoicing in the Lord always definitely requires being consciously aware of the fact that God IS in control. He does have my best interests in mind. Yet, he has a larger plan which means that not everything will FEEL best or even seem best, yet I can rejoice in the Lord anyway.

On the theme of thinking right thoughts, Philippians 4:8 has much to say. Actually, it's a simple list of the things we should be thinking about.

Whatever is true
Whatever is honorable (either bringing or worthy of honor)
Whatever is just (based on or behaving according to what is morally right and fair)
Whatever is pure (free of contamination...that's a good word-picture)
Whatever is lovely (things that would be beautiful to God...not just beauty as we naturally think of it)
Whatever is commendable (deserving praise)
Anything that is excellent
Anything worthy of praise

Well, at least it's a simple list, right?? :o)

Definitions from Google



Day 5 (01/30/15) PM: Wow. The work day was really good. I had several moments of trying to think of what things I could think about as things to rejoice in the Lord. I also was thinking about ways to see if what I was saying or doing was glorifying God. Fantastic.

Then the night came. I got home from work, and in one hour I vacuumed the stairs, got the baby up and held her, and ate dinner. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it felt very busy to me...partly because that one hour mark turned into about 45 minutes before our two social workers came for our final post-placement visit. Whew.

A truth about me: I function best when I have some time to unwind, catch up on e-mail/Facebook, etc. when I get home from work. 15 minutes is OK but a half hour is great. I had neither tonight. I had about 5 minutes and those involved my 7 year old trying to get my attention. So, how did I respond by letting God have control of my life???? I didn't. I was short with BOTH my wife and daughter. I didn't want to hold Layla because it was keeping me from my plans. I'd love to tell you that I realized this before our social workers came, but I really didn't. It was during the visit that I realized how pathetic I had been acting. So, I have apologized to both of them and tried to straighten myself out. Why do I mention all of this? Simple: it was a control issue. I had a plan of what I wanted and it simply didn't happen. Because of that, instead of focusing on ways to rejoice in the Lord and trying to glorify him, I reacted more harshly than I should. However, praise God for a family that loves me and forgives me when I apologize for my mistakes!

Project Control - day 4 - God is near me!

01/28/15 PM - can I be honest? My thought tonight was "How am I going to keep coming up with things for the next 30 days??" :o) Then I reassured myself that since this is about me giving God control of my life, I'm not going to worry about the topics each day and just let them come. Praise God for little lessons even as I work on this project!

Day 4 (01/29/15) AM: Well, I decided I'd move forward in the Philippians 4:4-9 passage today. Just to see what else fits the control thing. To be honest with you, though, I really struggled with remembering to glorify (and even think of) God throughout my day yesterday. So, this will be really light because the idea of glorifying God in whatever I say or do wasn't in my mind enough and I want to focus on it again.

What I love is the last part of verse 5. It says "the Lord is at hand;" The key here is the semi-colon instead of a period. So, the next portion until you find another period is all tied to the idea that God is close to us and "at hand." So, that includes; do not be anxious about anything, but instead of being anxious, with the tools of prayer and supplication (asking or begging), while being thankful, let God know what your requests are. What's cool about that?? Well, we can let God know about our requests by praying (and begging) and we can do it with a thankful heart because he is right HERE. Next to me. next to you. As a Christian; inside of you. Amen to that!!!

Day 4 (01/29/15) PM: Well, I had a breakthrough today that was really great. I had a moment when I was washing my hands (getting sticky apple juice off...go figure) and I remembered this project. I then took a few minutes and thought about how I could rejoice in the Lord, ways I could focus on giving God glory in my day, and how to remember that the Lord is at hand. It wasn't much, but it was a great little way to practically apply everything I've been typing about the last 4 days. Praise God for improvement! :o)

Project Control - Day 3 - give thanks to God

Day 3 (01/28/15): Phil 4:4-7 was my first set of verses and I'm still reading them each day and working through them. However, I had another one come to mind yesterday and this morning that I thought I'd share. This has been my focus today as I've sought to keep giving control of my life and circumstances to God today instead of trying to keep that control for myself.

Colossians 3:17: says that whatever we do, whether we are actually doing something or just saying something, we are to do it in the name of Jesus and while giving thanks to God the Father through Jesus. So....what?

Well, if we are to do everything in Jesus name, then I need to evaluate if the things I'm saying or the things I'm doing would be things that Jesus would be alright with me putting his name on them. So i asked myself: Am I working in the name of Jesus? Am I driving (and/or raging) in the name of Jesus? Am I getting frustrated with co-workers in the name of Jesus? Am I being empathetic towards my co-workers in the name of Jesus? Am I coming home and engaging with my family in the name of Jesus? See. It should be as all-encompassing as it sounds in the verse. It just isn't most of the time. What a difference it would make if I did this more... Well, it was my goal to focus on it today and I really believe that it helped me to focus on my control-issues more and give more things and instances over to God.

Now, the part about giving thanks to God the Father. Well, you can't give thanks to God while sinning, that seems common sense. You also can't give thanks to God when you aren't consciously thinking about him at all through out the day. Because then we are just passively living our day and not really focusing on anything...or at least anything but ourselves. Think about it. Living passively (spiritually) just means that we aren't focused on God. If we aren't focused on God, we will naturally focus on ourselves. Even if we focus on other people in our lives or other things, we will be doing it for our own reasons. Taking the time to thank God while we do things in the name of Jesus forces us to be conscientious about what we are saying and doing and keeping them in line with what we know about God and Jesus from the Bible.

This actually ties in with the Philippians passage really well. If you read the punctuation correctly, the reason we don't have to be anxious about anything is because the Lord is at hand. Literally, it means, because the Lord is close at hand. That is, here is near us. So, we then don't have to be anxious, and we can be reminded to be thankful, to rejoice in the Lord, and to give thanks to God.

Man, it was a sobering day, to say the least. It's much easier to type here and have these deep thoughts, than it is to go out and actually remember to think about, praise, and rejoice in the God of the universe. 

Project control - Day 2

Welcome to day two! We made it!!! What a great accomplishment....Ok. I'm done! :o)


Day 1.5: So, after posting last night, we had a crazy night at home. First, I found myself focused on some work and, instead of engaging my daughter, I allowed myself to be very frustrated with her and short with her. Why? Because she wasn't doing exactly what I wanted and when I wanted it. Yup, allowing God to control me....FAIL! However, thanks to this project, I was aware of what I was doing and I specifically apologized and asked her to forgive me.
THEN, just before she was ready to go to bed...the world ended. It started as disrespect and arguing and it ended with multiple lies and not going to bed for almost an hour. However, God really did give me the patience I needed to not HAVE to be in control. I was able to respond calmly, to weigh whether something was bothering me due to my need for control or as an actual disobedience that needed handled, and, some healthy discipline later, she went to bed in a good mood!! Yeah for letting God be in control....SUCCESS!!!


Day 2 (01/27/15): What a night last night and talk about wanting to be in control. A long stretch of Maya K coughing and hacking that kept us awake. Then Layla sleeping really well until about 5 AM...and then screaming for most of the next hour (though not all) so that we didn't sleep again. If I ever wanted to be able to control my world it would be now.
So, I have been reflecting this morning on Phil 4:4 and wondered, how do I rejoice in the Lord with a night like last night? Well, I remember that I have two beautiful daughters. Many families don't have biological children and don't take the route of adoption. I can rejoice because God has worked in our family in a very specific way. I have a wonderful wife who got up with the girls in the night. I just had to lay there annoyed.. She had to get up and show them acts of love while feeling annoyed too. I have a home to sleep in where I feel safe and can sleep and rest when the girls are sleeping and resting. I am SO blessed and one night (or one night out of every 2.5 as the case may be) of less sleep shouldn't kill me. But, even if it did, I wouldn't trade what we have. I am rejoicing in the Lord and his blessings this morning. How about you? Comment below (or on Facebook) and tell me how you are rejoicing in the Lord today!!! 

Project Control - Day 1

If you missed my introduction to this project or Day 0 posts, check out those links.

Day 1 (01/26/15): I've been trying to brainstorm some verses that I can start by memorizing. Just to get me moving in the right direction. I thought about Romans 12:1-2 but I mostly have that memorized so it would take much work. I thought about the 2 Cor. 12 passage with Paul's Thorn in the flesh, but it was jumping out at me. I think I've settled on Philippians 4:4-9. This just gives some very practical advise for living on a daily basis. Things to think about, anxiety, prayer habits, etc.

Day 1 is wrapping up. I have to admit that some of my day was spent thinking, "What am I doing? I'm not even sure what this means so I have no idea what to say."

Well, it isn't much better now, but I'll give it a shot.

I thought about and meditated on Philippians 4:4-5 many times today. Which was fantastic. I used blueletterbible.com to dig a little deeper into some of the words used in those verses which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I also had a few moments where I caught myself trying to manipulate my environment to do something that I specifically wanted. I can't even think of a specific example right now, but I noticed it a couple of times and tried to stop myself and see if it was really necessary.

The other thing that dawned on me is that part of allowing God to have control of my life involves 1). letting the Holy Spirit guide my thoughts and actions and 2) not intentionally quenching the Holy Spirit. So, knowing what the Bible tells me is important but then following it and allowing the Holy Spirit to remind me of key things in key moments.

That's it for today. I hope you take some time just "Rejoice in the Lord" today!!

Project Control - Day 0

Day 0 (01/25/15): Let's be honest. I have no idea what I'm doing here. I mean, it's not like I'm going to go around blindfolded and say "God, lead me" and expect good things to happen. So, I did a Google search for "practical application giving God control." I found an article that was helpful and it pointed me to two verses that I looked up as well. Phil 2:12-13 - it's time to obey but to also remember that it is God (in his time and his way) who works in me to will and to do for his good pleasure.

I also asked Pam what she thought. We together got to a couple things. You don't use it as a cop-out like "I'm late for work because God made me late because he's in control." Allowing God to be in control should give us peace as unexpected things happen. Instead of trying to micro-manage and force my plans to happen at any cost (speeding/breaking a law when I'm late) I recognize that God is in control and adjust as best I can without being unethical. So, a broad summary would be that if the Bible say to do or to not do (or think, etc.) something, then there is no circumstance or excuse for doing the opposite. Allowing God to control my life is obeying what God has told me to do. At least, that's one piece. Alright.

For whatever reason, I really like 2 Peter 1:3-11 It was a very nice succinct way of talking through the way our lives should look. It's a great passage. Check it out here.

A control freak...surrenders control - conclusion (or is it)

Well, you didn't expect the control freak series to go on forever did you? Well, it ends today...or, in a month...but you won't know until then so it'll be "today" for you!

I had one plan and I'm changing it. I was going to do this for 30 days and then post it. I realized two problems with that. I'm REALLY wordy (so it would be REALLY long) and I feel like that would allow me to back out with no consequences and no one would ever know. So, I'm going to post this ever day as best as I can. Let's see how this goes.

Today is January 25th, 2015. It is 8:22 PM CST. I have wrestled with control and constantly confessed that before God and others. Yet, I've never really done anything about it. What good is it to know the truth and yet not do anything about it. "I know this drink is poisoned, but I will not act on that truth and I will drink it anyway!" That's ridiculous.

"God. I know that I owe everything to you. Your word is clear that I will be happier, more at peace, and more useful for you if I allow you to be in control of my life. I am a control freak and I admit that it scares me to even do what I'm about to do because I know what it means. It means a lifetime of fighting and struggling against my natural tendency. I know I won't be perfect, but God, I am weak and I am asking that you will make me strong because of it. May my giving you control of my life be the reason that 'they glorified God because of me.' Let it be so (Amen)"

OK, here is the deal. My goal is to simply live my days with an intentional goal to allow God to have control of my life. I don't really know what to expect here except that I expect God to work mightily through this. Let's be honest, the Bible is either true or it isn't. I believe that it is true and therefore, this should be a great experiment. So, let's learn together. Over the next month I hope you'll be challenged to give God control of your life and I also pray that I will be able to quote Galatians 1:24 and say that when people look at my life "they glorified God because of me."

Come boldly, not brashly

I've been bouncing this idea around my head for over a year and I thought I'd share it with you.

First of all, we have lost the idea of fearing God. What I usually see (and/or do myself) is a flippancy towards God or a legalism. The flippancy looks like someone who prays fast, prays the same thing every time they pray, or who carelessly doesn't think about what they are praying. This shows that we are not focused on building a relationship with a holy God. One of these that I think of is "God, please bless this food to our bodies." I know I just offended many of you so let me clarify. What does that mean? Does that mean that we think it has been poisoned? Does it mean that we truly expect our frozen pizza to become nourishing to us? I have tried to instead change it to thanking God for that same food and for providing for our needs. Yet, I also can easily fall into the trap of not paying attention to what I'm saying. It takes work to keep it a relationship and not a duty.

The other end is what I am calling legalism. It's a set pattern and way of doing something because where the way of doing it has become more important that the thing itself. My example here is a prayer spoken in another language. Now, there is a whole generation of people that may be offended when I say this so I want to explain myself again. "Thee" and "thou" are not even words in our American-English language. Sure, they are there, but we don't use them. Two things that are part of my problem with this. 1. If I am to remember my fear of God, why in the world am I going to talk to him like that? Why do I suspect that it's a distraction and not truly reverence? 2. If I am to recognize Jesus as a brother and God the Father as my heavenly father, why would I talk to him like that? I don't want my daughter to say, "Father, whilst thou givest me some more dinner?" Why not? Because I'm her daddy and there is a familiarity in our relationship. now, there is still respect (which we should also have before God) but that relationship feels wooden and stiff when we change the language to be incredibly formal.

For both of these, I know that people disagree with me and I am perfectly fine with that. In fact, if I am with you and you ask God to bless the food and use a "thee" or "thou" in your prayer, I'm not going to be offended and I won't say a thing. Why? Because I think that I'm giving generalizations and not everyone who prays for the food to be blessed isn't think about their prayer and not everyone who says "thee" while praying is being legalistic. What I'm saying is just a generalization.


At the end of Hebrews 4, the author is talking about how Jesus Christ is our great high priest. By this he means that  Jesus is our direct access to God the Father. He then concludes with, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Where this reads "with confidence" the KJV (Kings James Version) says "come boldly."

The way I envision this is to remember Queen Esther in the Old Testament. She had a need to go before the king. She had no confidence whether or not he would hold out his scepter. If he did, she could speak to him and make her request. If he didn't extend the scepter, she would be put to death. Obviously she would have had trepidation and fear as she approached the king. She didn't know if he would hold out the scepter.

What we have is a guarantee. When we approach the throne of God, and we do so through the blood of Jesus Christ, God guarantees us access to him. He will always extend the scepter and hear our pleas. How amazing is that!!! :o)

Having said that, we still remember that he is a holy and just God. That is what keeps us coming boldly (guaranteed access), but not brashly (we still respect him as God of the universe).


Praise God for his love and justice. For his holiness. Praise God for access to the throne of God. Yet, in that praise, let us never grow lax and irreverent. Our God and heavenly Father deserves our love and respect!

A control freak's walk with God - part 3

See, you all thought I had forgotten. Well, it turns out I was just busy and unmotivated to type for an extended period of time. :0) Well, I'm back so let's get talking about control again!!!

I can't tell you how many times I've come back to this control thing. I have such a problem with control that it really isn't even funny anymore. I teach games and I'm trying to move other peoples pieces (super FAIL). I want my daughter to obey THE EXACT WAY I EXPECT....which is ridiculous.

I've been reflecting on 2 Corinthians 12 lately and the passage where Paul has a thorn in his flesh and he asks God multiple times to remove it...and yet God doesn't. Lame!

Ok, here's the passage first. This is in the ESV (English Standard Version):

Paul is talking about his past and the things he has experienced. He talks his visions and then he says, "So, to keep me from being conceited because of the because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given to me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from being conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.'" Paul's response is the important part today though. "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Perspective. That's what God has been showing me lately with this passage. Paul had an opportunity to respond. He could have become angry with God. He could have tried to find a way to fix it on his own. Now, it's true that we don't know what his thorn in the flesh may have been (poor eye site has been suggested as well as many others) so it's very possible that he couldn't have done anything on his own.

BUT....I am different. :o) I'm not Paul of the 1st century. I'm Nate of the 21st century and there is little that man cannot solve! :o( Which sadly reduces our dependence on God which is the point of this passage. Being dependent on God, allowing him to be in control, and then seeing his power work in and through your life. Which doesn't happen when we are so insistent on being in control.

Paul's response, is the opposite though. Instead of being angry or trying to find a way to solve his problem without God, he embraces the truth that allowing God to be in control will actually allow him to do more and do it better than if he was running the show. The same is true for us. If we want to be in control, we are going to get into some real messes. We are going to ruin relationships. We are going to make some big mistakes. The great thing is that those things may very well still happen even with God in control, but the outcome can be so drastically different by allowing God control.

To the control freaks: May you find it in yourself today to allow God to be in control and see the great joy and peace that it can bring you today.

To the non-control freaks: just love us anyway! :o)