OK. Love isn't just about emotions. In fact, true love has nothing to do (directly with emotions). Although, if a person is acting in true love, emotions will join the party eventually :o)
Let's look at a list of things that the Apostle Paul says about love. We have things that love is, things that love does, things that love is not, things that love does not do, and one that about love that never changes.
Love is: patient and kind
Well. I'm already done. I can do kind (and I would say that I am usually pretty good at being kind) but man I am not a patient person. In fact, why be patient if I can get it done faster? However, when my daughter has a question...and it's the same one I've heard six times today...love is patient and kind. It doesn't mean there isn't a consequence if she's been told not to ask anymore. It simply means that my job is to be patient and kind towards her. Wow. That's convicting. So....let's talk about something else.
Love does: rejoice in the truth, bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things. This is a tough list. We don't use all these words very often so let's talk about it. First, you wouldn't think it'd be hard to "rejoice in the truth" but...the truth is that you were speeding, which is illegal, so you deserve the speeding ticket. It is not the cops fault because he/she was there and should have been there. It is your fault for breaking the law. That's tough. I have been talking to my daughter about yelling lately. Not her yelling, me yelling at/towards her. I've told her that there is no circumstance where I should ever yell at her because I'm frustrated or angry. Period. No exception. (Dad's - think of it this way. if it was her boyfriend and you walked in to him yelling at her while clearly looking angry. Would you ask him what she did wrong or punch him in the face? My point is proved.) So, if I do yell (which I have and I have apologized and asked her for forgiveness) and she looks at me and says, "Daddy, you shouldn't yell at me when you are mad." That would be truth that I should rejoice in because my daughter knows the truth. Ouch.
Bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. I would challenge you to type "Define bear" into Google and look at the dictionary.com verb definition. Do that for all the words. There are a lot of things in this. The one that is sticking out to me right now is that I should be assuming the best in people. I shouldn't assume my daughter is trying to irritate me with that sound. And, when I say, "------, make a different sound please" ....and she does. She isn't trying to irritate me: she's six and a literalist. BUT, am I assuming the best about everyone I claim to love?
Love is not: Arrogant, rude, irritable, or resentful. Wow. We could do this for an hour or more. It'd be painful and if you were honest with yourself we would all of us (whether you are a follower of Christ or not: ALL of us) would say that we are not very loving people. EVEN to the people we say "I love you" to.
Love does not: Envy (to see someone else's good things and wish they were yours), boast, insist on its own way, or rejoice in wrongdoing. Again. It's so easy to fail at being loving in these areas. I have family that is a little more well off than I am. It's easy around Christmas to hear about their blessings and wish I had some of that. I know people who are my age who are much more established in their careers of choice than I am and I can become discontent. OR, I can remember that I love them and I'm very happy for where God has put them in life.
Lastly, something about love that never changes: it doesn't end. True love, a love that does all the stuff above....it doesn't end. You may wonder how love doesn't end, but look at the list again. It isn't about our emotions and how we feel. it's about choices. It is self-control and self-control. To do and not do things that are more natural than would be loving. A lot of that list feels like, "Whatever you would naturally do if you weren't thinking and instead were just acting on impulse...do the opposite and that will be love."
Thankfully though, it's not that bad. The other nice thing is that it isn't always self-control and it isn't always work. God brings in all the emotions that we expect from love, but since they are based on decisions and choices we've made, there is a much better foundation. So that I can still tell my daughter I love her....even if we don't like each other in that moment. Because I'd still punch her boyfriend if he yelled at her, get between her and a moving car, and do everything I can to make her future as bright as possible.....even if that sound she is making makes me want to rip my beard out. :o)
One more note and then I'm done. 1 John has plenty to say about love. Love is from God, for example. The one I just want to mention is 1 John 4:16. "God is love." I know that's out of context and I don't have the time to give it all, but everything in this post: God does it without fail. (Maybe I'll post about justice sometime to help with the frustrations that gave to some of you, but I can't add it tonight.) He loves us perfectly and it never ends. That's comforting to me.
Let's look at a list of things that the Apostle Paul says about love. We have things that love is, things that love does, things that love is not, things that love does not do, and one that about love that never changes.
Love is: patient and kind
Well. I'm already done. I can do kind (and I would say that I am usually pretty good at being kind) but man I am not a patient person. In fact, why be patient if I can get it done faster? However, when my daughter has a question...and it's the same one I've heard six times today...love is patient and kind. It doesn't mean there isn't a consequence if she's been told not to ask anymore. It simply means that my job is to be patient and kind towards her. Wow. That's convicting. So....let's talk about something else.
Love does: rejoice in the truth, bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things. This is a tough list. We don't use all these words very often so let's talk about it. First, you wouldn't think it'd be hard to "rejoice in the truth" but...the truth is that you were speeding, which is illegal, so you deserve the speeding ticket. It is not the cops fault because he/she was there and should have been there. It is your fault for breaking the law. That's tough. I have been talking to my daughter about yelling lately. Not her yelling, me yelling at/towards her. I've told her that there is no circumstance where I should ever yell at her because I'm frustrated or angry. Period. No exception. (Dad's - think of it this way. if it was her boyfriend and you walked in to him yelling at her while clearly looking angry. Would you ask him what she did wrong or punch him in the face? My point is proved.) So, if I do yell (which I have and I have apologized and asked her for forgiveness) and she looks at me and says, "Daddy, you shouldn't yell at me when you are mad." That would be truth that I should rejoice in because my daughter knows the truth. Ouch.
Bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. I would challenge you to type "Define bear" into Google and look at the dictionary.com verb definition. Do that for all the words. There are a lot of things in this. The one that is sticking out to me right now is that I should be assuming the best in people. I shouldn't assume my daughter is trying to irritate me with that sound. And, when I say, "------, make a different sound please" ....and she does. She isn't trying to irritate me: she's six and a literalist. BUT, am I assuming the best about everyone I claim to love?
Love is not: Arrogant, rude, irritable, or resentful. Wow. We could do this for an hour or more. It'd be painful and if you were honest with yourself we would all of us (whether you are a follower of Christ or not: ALL of us) would say that we are not very loving people. EVEN to the people we say "I love you" to.
Love does not: Envy (to see someone else's good things and wish they were yours), boast, insist on its own way, or rejoice in wrongdoing. Again. It's so easy to fail at being loving in these areas. I have family that is a little more well off than I am. It's easy around Christmas to hear about their blessings and wish I had some of that. I know people who are my age who are much more established in their careers of choice than I am and I can become discontent. OR, I can remember that I love them and I'm very happy for where God has put them in life.
Lastly, something about love that never changes: it doesn't end. True love, a love that does all the stuff above....it doesn't end. You may wonder how love doesn't end, but look at the list again. It isn't about our emotions and how we feel. it's about choices. It is self-control and self-control. To do and not do things that are more natural than would be loving. A lot of that list feels like, "Whatever you would naturally do if you weren't thinking and instead were just acting on impulse...do the opposite and that will be love."
Thankfully though, it's not that bad. The other nice thing is that it isn't always self-control and it isn't always work. God brings in all the emotions that we expect from love, but since they are based on decisions and choices we've made, there is a much better foundation. So that I can still tell my daughter I love her....even if we don't like each other in that moment. Because I'd still punch her boyfriend if he yelled at her, get between her and a moving car, and do everything I can to make her future as bright as possible.....even if that sound she is making makes me want to rip my beard out. :o)
One more note and then I'm done. 1 John has plenty to say about love. Love is from God, for example. The one I just want to mention is 1 John 4:16. "God is love." I know that's out of context and I don't have the time to give it all, but everything in this post: God does it without fail. (Maybe I'll post about justice sometime to help with the frustrations that gave to some of you, but I can't add it tonight.) He loves us perfectly and it never ends. That's comforting to me.
