I had two different conversations yesterday that both dealt with personal responsibility during arguments. These were two very different conversations and one was really arguments and the other more along the lines of disagreements.
The first was in the context of being a father. As a father I have a HUGE responsibility during any arguments that happen in our home. Mother-father, father-daughter, and even mother-daughter. First, I have the responsibility of doing all that I can to not escalate an event into an argument. I am not good at this yet, but I am trying to practice and learn every day. However, once an argument has started, what are my responsibilities? 1) to deescalate the argument, 2) to be a Godly example no matter who is at fault, and 3) to apologize for anything I have said or done that was wrong during the argument.
Guess what? There is nothing here about expecting my wife or daughter to apologize or that they even recognize what they've done wrong. My responsibility is me. Their responsibility is themselves, but I have to model that. I don't get to force correct behavior; I get to model it. :0)
The second scenario was discussing differences in beliefs and opinions when it comes to doctrine or the functions of the building we call "our church." So, what was the discussion? Well, we were talking about how some people are willing to "die" for certain things that I simply am not. One example was transubstantiation. (This is the belief that the bread and wine, during communion, somehow become the body and blood of Christ.) I do not believe in transubstantiation in any way, but I don't believe that holding this belief means you are not a Christian. Am I going to attend a church and fellowship with people who DO believe in it? No. That is not something I am willing to encourage or ever let someone think I am in agreement on that issue. (Yes, I know that some of you already disagree with me. that's OK.)
So, what responsibilities come out of this? Two-fold. One is my responsibility to not make arguments. If I'm not willing to die for the issue at hand, I shouldn't be willing to die over my unwillingness to die for the issue. You know. The arguments that come when I am firmly asserting that this issue is not worth dying for and that we shouldn't be having this argument....but I'm actually causing the argument! Secondly, when the situations are reversed, I have to be willing to recognize that an issue of great importance to me is not going to hold the same amount of weight for everyone. Does that mean I am wrong? No. Does it mean I am right? No. That is for Scripture to determine, not me. However, once I have taken something that is a disagreement and turned it into an argument; I have now moved into the arena of being wrong.
So, does this mean that we don't stand up for what we believe in? No. However, I think we do apply the Fruit of the Spirit into everything we do and "willing submission" (that is, meekness) is a part of that fruit!
To God be the glory!
The first was in the context of being a father. As a father I have a HUGE responsibility during any arguments that happen in our home. Mother-father, father-daughter, and even mother-daughter. First, I have the responsibility of doing all that I can to not escalate an event into an argument. I am not good at this yet, but I am trying to practice and learn every day. However, once an argument has started, what are my responsibilities? 1) to deescalate the argument, 2) to be a Godly example no matter who is at fault, and 3) to apologize for anything I have said or done that was wrong during the argument.
Guess what? There is nothing here about expecting my wife or daughter to apologize or that they even recognize what they've done wrong. My responsibility is me. Their responsibility is themselves, but I have to model that. I don't get to force correct behavior; I get to model it. :0)
The second scenario was discussing differences in beliefs and opinions when it comes to doctrine or the functions of the building we call "our church." So, what was the discussion? Well, we were talking about how some people are willing to "die" for certain things that I simply am not. One example was transubstantiation. (This is the belief that the bread and wine, during communion, somehow become the body and blood of Christ.) I do not believe in transubstantiation in any way, but I don't believe that holding this belief means you are not a Christian. Am I going to attend a church and fellowship with people who DO believe in it? No. That is not something I am willing to encourage or ever let someone think I am in agreement on that issue. (Yes, I know that some of you already disagree with me. that's OK.)
So, what responsibilities come out of this? Two-fold. One is my responsibility to not make arguments. If I'm not willing to die for the issue at hand, I shouldn't be willing to die over my unwillingness to die for the issue. You know. The arguments that come when I am firmly asserting that this issue is not worth dying for and that we shouldn't be having this argument....but I'm actually causing the argument! Secondly, when the situations are reversed, I have to be willing to recognize that an issue of great importance to me is not going to hold the same amount of weight for everyone. Does that mean I am wrong? No. Does it mean I am right? No. That is for Scripture to determine, not me. However, once I have taken something that is a disagreement and turned it into an argument; I have now moved into the arena of being wrong.
So, does this mean that we don't stand up for what we believe in? No. However, I think we do apply the Fruit of the Spirit into everything we do and "willing submission" (that is, meekness) is a part of that fruit!
To God be the glory!
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